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A fickle heart is what I own,
Cast down upon me so many years ago,
Afraid to love,
Afraid to hurt.
In my chest it aches,
For now it yearns for you,
However, it will never be subdued.
A fickle heart is not worth the pursuit,
The end will bear no fruit,
Afraid to feel,
Afraid of pain.
In exchange you offered your soul,
A dedicated, spiritual flutter,
For the shivering, caged organ,
You will regret the barter in the morning.
For a fickle heart can never stay,
It always flitters far away,
Afraid to linger,
Afraid to break.
2011 Alissa Garcia
A trap a mortal could fall into with ease; a trick only pulled by the most horrid people… that was what the Angel was stuck in. She could feel her world suddenly shut down as she stared up at the dark night’s stars in shock and fear. Nothing she had tried prevented her fate that the Golem bestowed upon her as a pathetic attempt to snatch up the young Angel’s purity. If it was anybody but him she would have fought vigorously and won with ease, but paranoia crept up her spine and lingered. This wasn’t the first time the Golem had attempted such a feat, just the first time he succeeded. Before her stubborn nature took hold of her yet that night was different as she laid sprawled on his bed of leaves somewhere out in his forest. Her lip was quivering while he carefully tugged down at her clothes, peeling them off like skin on a fruit. Occasionally he would have her lift up to make his life easier, she did so out of fear.
I think I may actually re-write this, but this is what I had before I stopped.
It hurts to watch the people you love so dearly to not realize you exist. Not that they think you’re dead or when you try to picture never being born… I mean when you are standing right across the hall from them, watching as they walk on past and, honestly, don’t know you’re there. It’s not because they hate you or because you did something wrong; you’ve never done anything to hurt them. There was no fight, no mistake, or anything of the sort. They just don’t know the real you.
I doubt you understand what I mean… It’s not that I’m two-faced or anything. I’m quite the opposite, actually. You see, I lead two completely different lives and they don’t know the real me. They don’t know that I’m really a shy girl at their school with no friends. They don’t know me as Savannah Wright, the weird, quiet girl in the corner who looks like she might cry if you say hello to her. They don’t know me as Savannah Wright, the girl who sits behind the dumpster at lunch with her tuna casserole and eggnog in the middle of February. My friends know me as Tristan Castoplus, the flamboyant and pansexual guy that they love and adore, but only get to see on the weekends because his work won’t allow him any other days off. They see him at the bar drinking soda because he’s still too young to drink anything else, but he loves the atmosphere. Never in their lives would they realize that Savannah Wright and Tristan Castoplus are the same people!
Alissa had been sitting there, staring at the surroundings now and deep into Hanz’s sapphire eyes. His beautiful… sapphire eyes. This was no time to be into love and lust; she stood up. “I’m gonna get you help, dear.. I swear.. I’m goin’ta fix everything…” she choked but it was no time to cry. Alissa picked up her babies, holding them for what may be the last time before kissing them each and laying them beside their father. “I love you…” she than ran over to the well that David’s body now floated in.
“Alissa! Wait!” he reached out towards her, not wanting to leave her side ever again. All the actions she made only led him to horrible conclusions he couldn’t bare to let her go through. “It’s fine now! Let’s just-” he groaned, crying out in agony as his chest churned. It felt as if something was broken; maybe a rib. She ignored his pleas as she pulled David out of the water and laid him on his back atop the tiled floors.
“Hi!” the peppy red head chimed across the table made of desk to the blonde girl that sat across from him. Out of all of the empty desks left in the room, he had chosen the one right across from her. The girl began to feel uncomfortable but it didn’t last long, she was soon fine within minutes.
She had, originally, only been speaking to the blonde on the left side of her but this new red head had interupted her conversation with the blonde boy she had known for three years. Being the first day of middle school, there was much of her to learn.
The horrors were only beginning…
She placed her fingertips upon Michelle’s wrist after an hour of just sitting there. Alissa had been trying to accept the fact that her best friend was dead but it was too unbelievable for her. Twenty years or more of knowing this woman that lay dead before her. Their stupid quarrels, the tears… Her eyes began to water as she remembered a fight, it was considered a fight then, where all they did was yell the most immature insults back and forth.
Alissa had taken her time to conjure herself up new clothes and clean the old ones. She carefully cleaned them then put them back on. Instead, the new clothes were used for the babies. They were sewn perfectly to carefully carry the two infront of her so she could walk around without worrying. She could also flip them behind her back if need be.
She had decided to search for David instead of just sitting there. It felt like it had been a day or so since she seen him, he couldn’t be coming back then. “Pretty babies.. we’re gonna find Uncle Davie… isn’t that wonderful? He runneded away..” she pet Trei’s head as his little arms stretched out and his mouth opened for a yawn. Naomi was already sleeping, as she usually was.
I didn’t know it was too late.. I didn’t think it would be! I thought.. I mean…
He knew… all along….
Alissa took one of the babies from David, the one closest to her. She smiled at the little boy she held in her arms and kissed the top of his head. “He looks… just like him…” he reached his hands out to her, whining and crying slightly. She smiled sweetly and held her baby close to her. “It’s like.. a mini him….” Alissa held in tears though she knew she had cried many a times now. She didn’t know how to feel at all anymore. Her dream babies were real but the love of her life was gone.
Everything was perfect…
A happilly married couple were walking to the grocery store. Everything had been just as the girl could possibly imagine. A nice, small town filled with people who didn’t know her at a younger age but all knew her now. None of the city life to be seen. To top it all off, it was with her highschool sweetheart and the man of her dreams.
It was all going so well…. I was so happy…
The only thing that bothered her was the sudden disappearance of a few friends and a secret she had been keeping from her husband. She figured her friends just lost contact with her, nothing big. They’d probably contact her soon and as for the secret? It wasn’t anything bad. In fact, it was a surprise for him.
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